During a sleepless night in January 2022, I thought of a compound word that combines two concepts to describe my mindset. My mindset has strengths and weaknesses. And if I’m being honest… I’ve let my weaknesses eat me alive these past few years. I’ve taken my incredible strengths for granted, but I’m not going to do that anymore. Writing is one of my strengths so I’m going to write.
“Karbon” represents the inherent life force that every living thing possesses. Most cultures have a word for this concept such as “Chi” in Chinese, or “Soul” in English. As I tried to find a word to describe how I felt that night, I decided to tweak the word “Carbon” since it’s the most essential element of life at the molecular level. I also like how it sounds.
“Meta” represents the concept of self awareness. As Metadata is data about data, Metakarbon is a mind thinking about a mind. That’s just the basic foundation. If I stopped here, then it would sound like I just made my own goofy word for “philosophy.” But Metakarbon isn’t just conceptual like philosophy. It’s about the application. How does thinking about oneself affect your self image, your actions, and the outside world? Everything is dynamic. Your self image is going to change, evolve, or degrade the more you conceptualize yourself. Self reflection is essential, and that’s why I’ve chosen to build a brand around this concept. Many people in this world need A LOT more self reflection in their lives.
However, as Alan Watts said in the mid 20th century, thinking is “a good servant but a bad master.” You can judge your own actions and character all you want, but what happens when you think deeply about who you are, and then never stop? At first it can feel like an escape from outside judgment. “Before anyone else can judge me, I’m going to pick myself apart until I get to the core, and then I’ll have my life figured out!” That’s how I would summarize the more insidious side of self reflection. Its a habit I’ve followed for a long time that led me to where I am now. I feel as if my reflection is out of balance with my action. Finding purpose can’t happen inside a vacuum. Reflection without action will quickly spiral into dwelling in the past and forgetting about the present. After this became a long term habit, it became more difficult for me to take action even when I knew in my soul I needed to SAY something or DO something… I took solace in thinking about it and then not doing anything. It felt safer because I perceived the action as a risk that could potentially embarrass me. I worked out my overthinking muscles so much that now it’s so easy to get lost in my mind. Even if it’s just for a few moments, We can’t afford to take time for granted when we feel it in our bones that there’s something we need to do. If there are uncertainties, my goal is to transition from perpetual metakarbon to habitual planning and executing.